Gratitude is likely different for all of us. Each of us pulls on our previous experiences and memories to evoke our feelings that produce a feeling of gratitude. If we get down to basics, gratitude is an affirmation of goodness that comes from within and outside of ourselves. Gratitude is more than saying “thank you,” as it reaches a deeper level of appreciation. It is the culmination of how others in our lives have supported and affirmed us. Remember getting a scratch and sniff sticker on your paper in elementary school?! I may be dating myself, but that was a powerful feeling of joy to me. I knew I had done well. My teacher noticed and took the time to give me my favorite sticker. She knew which one I liked. It meant a lot to 8-year-old me. I felt seen. I felt heard. I was grateful. While that is a very tangible example, I also have feelings of gratitude when someone smiles at me, especially if I have had a bad day, or when I get to share space with someone that just wants to be there with me without expectations. So you see, gratitude takes us outside of ourselves so we can actively see ourselves as part of a larger community of relationships. It is very social, emotional, and a tangible thing. When it comes to our children, being purposeful and mindful about gratitude offers many opportunities for social and emotional growth. For example,
- Gratitude elicits positive emotions: optimism, joy, empowerment.
- Gratitude is good for our bodies: it diminishes feelings of anxiety and many physical aches and pains
- Gratitude strengthens relationships and social ties
- Gratitude promotes forgiveness: we feel good, so we want to “do good.”
- Gratitude increases empathy, helpfulness, and compassion
- Gratitude increases resiliency to stress
How can we “Grow Gratitude” in our children?
One of the easiest ways to open the door to gratitude with young children is to talk about it on a daily basis – to pause and appreciate what we have day in and day out. There are also a lot of fun activities that help children explore the concept of gratitude and what it means to them. Here are a few of my favorites:
- Take a Gratitude Walk – While taking a walk, talk about all of the things you are noticing around you and your child. What are you seeing, hearing, smelling, and feeling around you that you appreciate? What is bringing you joy and happiness in the moment?
- Make a Gratitude Tree – This is a physical way for children to grow their gratitude. You can draw it, paint it, build it, sculpt it, etc. As your child adds “leaves of gratitude” to the tree, their mindfulness and awareness of gratitude are also growing. Each leaf can be something specific that your child has chosen. All family members can also add their own leaves to the tree. What a great way to share how gratitude is present in all of our lives! You can also do this with a turkey and add feathers if it feels more festive in November.
- Write thank you notes – not only for gifts, but for people being present in our lives. This is a great way for children to connect to loved ones they hold near and dear.
- Gratitude Paper Chains – As the holidays approach, your child can tell you daily something that they are grateful for. Write it on a strip of paper and you and your child can build a paper chain of gratitude. This also lends itself to the entire family participating. You can see how long your chain can get by Thanksgiving, and maybe read aloud all the loops around the Thanksgiving table.
Gratitude is an abstract concept for little people. They need help understanding this feeling by experiencing concrete activities alongside the feeling. Talking, creating, and celebrating gratitude is a fun way to connect to your child and help them to realize the little and big things they have to be grateful for everyday. As a parent, these exercises are often eye-opening as they name little things that mean a lot to them that we do not even realize!
– By Mitzie Moser and Becca Thiemann
